June 10th, 2005

03:05 am - andrew.... yea im def up bc i cant sleep... bc i have to much running through my mind. i miss my andrew sooo much. its hard to think sometimes that i havent really been with him that long but i love him soooo much. he means more to me then anything in the world ever has. i mean i cant go a second without thinkin about him... and right now with everything that has been going on and him being gone until sunday its hard. i just want to him to hold me and make everything ok. he just has a way of doing that for me. he just comes home and sits on the couch with me and holds me in his arms... its GREAT. its the best feeling in the world to mean the world to someone and kno that they mean the same to u. i would NEVER do anything to ever lose him... i would do anything and everything for him. i mean i have made friends and lost friends for him and u kno wat FUCK the friends i lost its just taken him to show me that they really arent worth it anymore... as much as they used to mean and everything it isnt worth stressing me him o anyone else for that matter... time effects everything and time played its toll... i fell in love with andrew bc of all the little things that he does and i mean it... i really do.. i love him with all my heart and he NEEDS to kno that. he has done soo much for me.. hes picked me up and showed me that i can love someone again and it really does feel good. i want him home sooo much. hes done so much for me and i really do appreciate it as much as i kno i dont say anything. i would do anything and everything for him. its just so hard to pretend that im not scared out of my mind to lose wat me and him have... ppl build relationships over years that dont compare to how much ive found myself caring for him.. i mean its scary and strange for me to even admit it bc wen i do it seems like it is sooooo fake but it isnt all those feelings are there bc ive NEVER felt this way EVER. and it isnt like its a bad feeling its just not like im used to feeling like this. i cant wait until hes home again.. i just wish i could b with him right now.. im feeling sooo lost. =(. y am i so upset??? ahhh!!! sometimes i think i update in here not for ppl to c o wat not but to get things off my chest... things that i cant say out loud... things that i want to say. well ima attempt to fall asleep but i really dont think that is going to happen. Current Mood: i miss him....

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June 7th, 2005

07:36 pm - WoW!!!! Boredom has definately set in!! i am losing it. i have nothing to do all day. its retarded. i need a life and normally i would go out and everything but the weather has been sooooo damn crappy. i havent updated this thing in a long ass time and the only reason im doing it now is bc i have NOTHING better to do!!! since the last time i ever wrote anything in here ive finished school... so now im a jr... i saw most of the old gang walk across the stage and get handed there diplomas... that took alot out of me ive known most of them since i was little and to c them all grown up and graduating from high school was something else. ima miss them... CONGRATS class of '05... then to top it off i watched andrew ((the love o my life... hes the one person that has completed me in a long time... even though its hard bc the only person i ever truely "loved" was gurk... i know that i can c myself with andrew down the road... he makes me me and he has found a way to make me head over heels in love with him and that will never change he has showed me how to love again and as scary as this may sound i may actually love him more then i have anyone and THAT is hard to believe)) graduate.. its sooo weird most of my friends are out of high school now... its surreal. ima miss them though. well ive started to hang out with ppl from the old gang again. who would have thought of that. we all just stopped talking and then out of no where im getting calls from everyone again its great though... i miss them i was with them 24/7 then it went to never seeing or talking to them now its both. ive missed them all and its nice to kno that they are still there. lil andrew even came over yesterday and we watched secret window. its cool. i have no clue wat to do about some stuff.. right now ima do wat makes ME happy. well ive been waiting for andrew to call bc im seriously bored out of my mind and i have nothing to do and it is really starting to bother me but he aint exactly picking up his fone.. he left it in his truck nothing new... well i think ima go find something to do.. being on the computer is even boring me and i cant watch tv bc thats even boring... i need andrew... ahhhhh.. well im out of here... i think i updated enough. Current Mood: bored Current Music: dancing in the door... middle of the night... taking ur <3..

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April 22nd, 2005

03:40 pm - Lo0o0o0o0o0o0o0oNG TiMe No WRiTe!!! well i have been realli busy between school and all and i realli havent had much to say about it either... well i think the last time i wrote it was about going out of town to my sisters... well lets c all i have to say about that is that it was a REALLY interesting trip... well i think that sums it up. well i guess i will write again eventually. Current Mood: blank

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April 8th, 2005

03:21 pm - OUTTA TOWN hey everyone im outta town for the weekend for leannas birthday.. im sooo happy cant u tell. well i havent realli updated much here but i realli havent had much to say. im just learning to deal with everythin it totally sux but u kno wat i have to. well i kno that ima have a busy weekend ahead of me so yea... then watever.. well i will update asap.. but i wont b home for 2 days ((until sunday evening)) ill miss everyone!!! love ya. Current Mood: enraged

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April 2nd, 2005

06:04 pm Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56% Stability |||||||||||||||| 70% Orderliness |||||||||| 36% Empathy |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63% Intellectual |||||| 30% Mystical |||||| 23% Artistic |||||||||||| 50% Religious |||||||||||||||| 63% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||| 76% Materialism |||||||||||| 50% Narcissism |||||||||| 36% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63% Work ethic |||| 16% Self absorbed |||||| 30% Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43% Need to dominate |||||||||||| 43% Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63% Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 63% Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56% Wealth |||||||||||| 43% Dependency |||||| 30% Change averse |||||||||||| 50% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50% Individuality |||||||||| 36% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76% Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50% Physical security |||||||||||||||||| 76% Food indulgent |||||||||||||| 56% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Paranoia |||||||||||| 43% Vanity |||||| 30% Hypersensitivity |||| 16% Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 63% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test personality tests by similarminds.com Current Mood: devious

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01:06 pm well ever since the last time i updated ive been to damn lazy to say anything else. i leave on friday to spend the weekend up at leannas and i get home on sunday afternoon/night. its gonna b so much fun. my little one is turning sweet 16 TOMORROW!! damn time has went by sooooo fast. it was just a short time ago it feels that we were running around with the gang n getting into trouble. =). now the whole gang is graduating from high school and leaving me n her behind. i cant believe how fast time has went by... its crazy as hell. well for the last time that i c the gang its gonna b soooo str8. ima c them at their prom. i get to go!!!! im going with andrew. time has flown i cant believe it... pretty soon its goin to b me and anna graduating. this is crazy. well i cant wait until this weekend leanna better have some funnn stuff in store for us even though i may b in a little bit of PAIN!!! i am still deciding if ima go get it done on thurs after school that way i have 4 days to learn to talk... bc id only b home for a little on thurs and enough time on friday to get my things and leave... i dont even know if im going to school all day... leanna call me wenever cuz we need to talk b4 i leave friday... right? my abuelita and aunt were here all this week.. damn they spoiled me and all they seemed to ask about was gurk... where have they been? yet again they saw a pick of him that i had lost in my room while they were staying in there.. they just left though so yea. today is my daddies and my cousin joshs birthday.. my cousin is joining the army.. i get to watch him graduate sometime this summer up in carolina.. its either gonna b just me going up with a friend and we get a hotel room and my aunt might go.... YAY. there is so much that i want to say that i cant this all TOTALLY sucks... Current Mood: ... idk!!!

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March 25th, 2005

07:55 pm i was at the beach ALL day 7 hours... my tan is hurting... i never knew i could turn so dark... and it HURT. oh well. i had the best day. i spent the whole time with teran and everyone else... it was so cool. i had fun but i got hit my a jellyfish =(. PAIN!!! and i just noticed it. not cool. well i think that this totally sucks that spring break is almost over now. i dont want to go back to school!!! abuelita comes sunday!!!! yipee. Current Mood: drunk

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March 23rd, 2005

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05:24 pm ( Read more... ) well so far spring break has been ok.. i saw alex for the last time until who knows wen on saturday... its killing me i couldnt/cant stop crying.. i miss him. its for the good though. he works so much and doesnt have time for a gf and he needs to pass high school. then theres me who just is laid back and i just do watever i want really.. wen i want. plus i dont work normal hours.. i work wenever. so its easier for me. well also on sat i felt that i had my kids around again... it was cool. i miss them so much. i called my sister to c how they were and the babies cancer shrunk down to a centimeter. i was sooo happy to hear that shes getting better. then came the shit with my older brother and sister fighting with our dad.. they pull me into it bc i live with him and they didnt. oh well. sunday jillian left with youth to go camping and i stayed home. i was an only child it felt so0o0o0o0o0o0o good. monday i stayed home with my mom and did some stuff around the house then sharon came over and we went out to get chinese... then i ended up dying my mommies hair and sharons hair... then they did mine back to my natural hair color.. then yesterday jillian came back home... and mike came over.. nothing outta the ordinary.. hes here all the time. then today im just chilling waiting for my parents cuz ima go out to the movies with nicole... fun funn Current Mood: hot

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March 18th, 2005

02:47 pm - AT WORK!!! ( Read more... ) well... im at work with the familia up at keller williams... ive been up since like 900 in the morning and i dont kno wat to do with myself... spring break is here and there realli isnt ne thing to do since i have to work and stuff this weekend. i so want to go to the beach and be a teen... but it is soooooo hard for me to go out since i DONT have a car. well watever... ima go chill and then go take a nap and everything so that way i can prob chill 2night. well i got work to do... ill update wen i got time. Current Mood: tired

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March 16th, 2005

10:21 pm today was nothing out of the ordinary. i hung out with kris like i ALWAYS do. christy was here for awhile... i made lunch hehe. then she left to go get her license she passed whoot whoot. after awhile me n kris got bored and we started to wrestle... my sis took oodles of pictures... i seem to b winning in all of them heh. we also took some HILARIOUS ones... the things ppl do wen they r EXTREMLY bored. tomorrow is the last day of mid terms then SPRING BREAK. the worst part is krissys leaving... ima miss her SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. to bad she has to go. well i need to go to bed. im dead to the world. Current Mood: bitchy

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March 10th, 2005

03:58 pm wow today... very bad.. first of all its freezing cold outside and i forgot to put a shirt on under my sweater... that wasnt cool. then in 3rd hour i got smacked with a metal bar... which didnt really hurt as much as everyone thought. today was just not my day. now im home listening to everyone argue with jillian... its really starting to piss me off... all they do is scream n shyt. i mean i dont really say anything i just go to my room and hide cuz then it gets all ugly if im out there. but yea. i hate it. its like this everyday and wow it aint cool. it just sucks cuz she is so0o0o0o0o close to not passing 8th grade.. thats gonna SUCK!!! well i got alot of homework to do bc im failing 2 classes i THINK and i cant so ima go get working... ill update wen i aint busy. Current Mood: working

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March 9th, 2005

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03:39 pm well today i was freezing my ass offf... and i was in the outfit alex got me for christmas... it sooo wasnt cool. i had NRTs they SUCKED!!! like always. omg i smell like the cologne BOD cuz Gary decided hey lets chase court around in the rain and drench her in it... not cool. cold rain... cologne... me... not a good mix... i was freezing!!! im gonna go to the mall now so i can go and get my nails n shyt done!!! =). wow today i totally got the most random comment from teran. she told me that i have a cute butt. nice perfect size shaped and formed n everything.. ((she wasnt hitting on me she just happened to look at my ass while we were outside durning lunch freezing)) i was like ok thnx. =\. Current Mood: FREEZING!!

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March 8th, 2005

08:05 pm Take the quiz: "What Kinda Kiss R U?" Tender Kiss The tender kiss is the feeling where you can be anywhere and show your feelings. no wonder ppl THINK ima tease!!! i wish that was me right now.. that would b sooo nice.. i want affection and i need it.. but its sooo hard to get it from the one person i want it from... i miss him sooo much. to bad hes so busy. i just got way to much sleep and after waking up and talking to kris and mike i want alex =(. but hes definately at night school. Current Mood: lonely

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04:25 pm anyways kris is out cold in my bed and im supposed to b doing homework that i already finished. well all in all today was a good day.. minus hearing some shyt that was said.. but u kno wat i aint saying anything back bc then that just makes me look like the ass and im realli trying not to b. ask everyone else. they all said i should have done this a LONGGGGGG time ago. but im doing it now cuz i woulda thought she would have understood and done it on her own. oh well.. no reason to go on n on... shyt happens. well i think ima go curl up into a ball and catch some ZzZzZzZzZ's... love you all. Current Mood: im bored...

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March 7th, 2005

10:30 am - CHaNGeS today i woke up feeling really tired. I took a shower then I brushed my teeth then i eat cereal. Then I watched TV till it was time for me to get dressed... that was ahsan. well the past weekend has been realli fun and entertaining... friday i was a LIL outta it hehe go ask alex and them.. then saturday i just chilled and cleaned then anna came home again and mike came over ((wonder why))... she wen to daniels and i went out with kris for awhile... then it turned out that they both were spending the night... that was the most interesting night in awhile... we talked bout things then went to sleep.. but THREE grls sharing one bed... that was DIFFICULT we were all on top of one another... hehe. then sunday i went to church with anna and crew. we went out to lunch altogether then to the play nicole was in. i came home at like 5 and just hung out with mike til like 8. he was watching the car and i was "supervising".. i did a good job. lol. then i came home and finally told amanda wat the deal was.. i have just basically had enough.. im done with all the drama and im tired of being stressed and pissed off. if she just didnt do the things that she chose to do... but that was her choice... and that is why ima walk out. i aint gonna never b there for her cuz that would b fucked up but im not going to b around all the time like i used to be.. i just want to start having a normal life again.. not that im never going to hang out with her like on spring break like we planned o shyt like that... shes just gotta c wat she did.. and maybe find a way to fix some of the things... well i think ima go back to bed... im leaving school. im tooo lazy to stay plus they r all testing and i dont have to.. anthony left me the car and hes gonna come pull me out in like 5 min. =D. so ill have the car.. maybe ill do a lil mini car trip to go visit the love of my life =D... but then again i dont feel like driving 45 min to west palm. well watever hes here.. Current Mood: confused

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March 5th, 2005

12:17 am i miss him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! end of discussion... i miss having him around. Current Mood: okay

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March 3rd, 2005

09:47 am wow im bored as hell... ive been so buzii the past couple of days and its making me crazy. well i have nothing to realli say cuz if i did update about the important stuff it would b about how ive been feeling lately and if uve seen me ud kno. so yea. plus i DONT feel like talking about it cuz it will just make my mood right now SUCK. and for the first time in awhile ive been semi happy... i dont kno wat i wold do without my friends that love me and help me through all this. =). i dont kno where i woulld b without them Current Mood: devious

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March 1st, 2005

07:06 pm i have been taking those freaking FCATs all week so far then after just leaving school with the gang... today i went down to hollywood beach with teran and everyone round 1200 wen we left testing and got back in school just in time to catch the bus home so everyone would think i stayed in school. then yesterday we went n caught lunch and chilled and did the same thing... and tomorrow ima leave round like 1220 and go get mcdonalds then get back just in time for 4th hour.. wat fun =). ive been so happy to b ungrounded... the FREEDOM that i missed is back. the onli thing missing is the one person that no matter wat happens puts a smile on my face and always makes me happy.. all i kno is that i miss him like crazy and wish i could spend alot more time then i do with him.. but its really hard. well i have to clean house and everything bc friday teran is supposed to come home with me so we can go over to alex and andrews for some STUPID thing then leanna is supposed to come home and i have to work sat in the early afternoon then after i hope i can spend that time with alex. well i gotta run. i have so much to go n do... Current Mood: drained

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February 24th, 2005

02:47 pm - I FEEL SOOOOOO LONELY AND I DONT KNO Y!!! =( iight well im at school doing nothing once more and i cant wait to get out of here. i think ive had the worst night and day possible. im tired and cranky and everything. all i have been able to do is cry and im sick and tired of ppl asking me wat is wrong with me. i give up!!!! i mean i think that everything is just not phasing me anymore. it is realli hard to b in school and everything i cant wait til im outta this hell hole. well i have to try and go to BCC i kno that i can do it and everything just the worst part is leaving some of my friends that would stay here... its rough but i kno that i want to get outta here realli bad. so yea. plus BCC aint that bad it aint like i dont kno anyone over there... well i think ima go i realli aint in the mood for talking at all. my day has just been so crappy between me crying and i NEVER cry infront of anyone. so my me to b crying all day its hard. well i feel all emotional and its realli starting to bother me. ill try to update once im home but watever. Current Mood: lonely

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February 23rd, 2005

03:42 pm wow my family is sooo fucking gay i get home and no one is home cept my brother and his fren long enough to leave me 20 bucks and the car... then they tell me u cant go ne where cept to youth if mom n dad aint home in time to leave!! so now im stuck home alone fucking bored out of my mind with car keys burning a hole in my pocket and i cant do shyt about it. grrr i hate this getting in trouble shyt. i swear i am never getting in trouble with them again... and the worst part is i DIDNT do ne thing to them just cuz they didnt like wat i did they have noooo fucking right to get all paranoid and ground me. well i think ima go jump in the shower and get readi to leave and everything... =). Current Mood: irritated

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February 22nd, 2005

08:32 pm well yesterday was definately VERY fun... me and mike made a slip 'n' slide in my backyard with a tarp. =). there are pictures of me getting it str8 to the face. its hilarious. we used dishwasher jabón with it tooo so it was REALLI slippery. i busted my @$$ like 6 or 7 times. the only thing missing yesterday was my frenz seeing me do it. as it was everyone was crackin up cuz me mike jeff jillian and cara were ALL getting mouth fulls. my mom got it on camera. ;-). maybe ill post the pics later. heheh. well i gotta go and finish my homework and my BCC stuff cuz im getting yelled at to go n do it. plus to top it off i have a speech due on thurs and i have yet to START it =(. uh oh. Current Mood: drained

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07:41 pm You scored as Summer. You are SUMMER. Life is to be -lived-.. dance, sing, and make merry. Adversity is simply something to overcome. You embrace life with both arms, not only because you love it, but to squeeze out of it all that you can. </td> Summer 80% Fall 75% Spring 70% Winter 55% What Season Are You? created with QuizFarm.com You are a Water Sex Goddess! You enjoy the slower and calmer things in life. But that doesn't mean your sex life is slow and calm. You love sex and take it for all it's worth. Everything you do is sensual or mysterious - and guys absolutely adore you for that! You're not easy or desperate, but you know what you want. Sometimes you can be a little picky, but, you want only the finest! Sex with you is amazing because it's deep and hard... and sometimes a little painful. You have almost a dual personality when it comes to sex. In public you're shy or quiet, but in the bedroom, you can't be tamed! What's Your Inner Elemental Sex Goddess? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You scored as To good to be true!. Sorry Darlin' hes too good to be true! </td> To good to be true! 88% Bad,exciting boy 75% Typical 38% Jerk 13% What kind of guy do you Fall for? created with QuizFarm.com You scored as highlight, then cornrow. You are one of those ghetto kids, you should cornrow your hair and highlight it. You are tough on the outside but could be a real sweetie on the inside. </td> highlight, then cornrow 55% Blonde 45% Purpleish red 45% Orange 35% Black 5% pink 5% What Color should you dye your hair? created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Jello shooters. Your tha life of the party...and you get people messed up realll fast...way to go! </td> Jello shooters 70% Vodka 60% Margarita 43% No alcohol! 40% Martini 23% Wut drink r u? created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Once in a blue moon drinker. </td> Once in a blue moon drinker 100% Social Drinker 88% Almost Alcoholic 25% Alcoholic 13% Are you an alcoholic? created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Bling Bling Roadster. Wow you have great tastes in cars but you should really drive it more often... Asshole... </td> Bling Bling Roadster 63% Pony Car 63% Monster Truck 20% Clunker 9% What Car should you Drive created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Northern Virginia. Just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the nation’s capitol, Northern Virginia is the place to be if you want to meet new people, work hard, and keep up on your politics. Welcome. </td> Northern Virginia 100% Puerto Rico 88% Southern California 88% Fallon, Nevada 75% Guam 75% Northwestern Washington State 50% Where Should You Live? (US) created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Unipolar Depression. Congraulations! You are depressed! You know just how it feels to bear all the world's burdens, and the value of a 19-hour night's sleep. And you really hate that circle-guy thing on your Zoloft pill packets. </td> Unipolar Depression 50% Borderline Personality Disorder 17% Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 0% Antisocial Personality Disorder 0% Eating Disorders 0% Schizophrenia 0% Which mental disorder do you have? created with QuizFarm.com Which Looney Tune Are You? created with QuizFarm.com Current Mood: bored

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February 20th, 2005

02:15 am I CANT SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg the movies freaked me out. i made alex promise to stay awake and talk to me but that didnt go over to well he passed out and im on the comp while leanna talks to bryan... and he goes to nicks.. oh well. i guess im going to just go find something to do. maybe ill go scare leanna o something. O:-). i really dont have ne thing better to do cuz i CANT sleep. the sad part is im not the only one freaked out so is leanna and the guys. ahhhhhhh.... i want to talk to alex =( but NOOO he fell asleep on me again. oki im done bitching n whinning. Current Mood: frustrated

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February 19th, 2005

10:48 pm hey hey hey.. wats up? nothing too much here. ive been with leanna mike daniel and bryan tonight watching the grudge and i was with alex =) leanna daniel mike and jeff watching saw last night... both scared the SHIT outta me. =(. ohhh well. all i kno is that today i got sooooo pissed off that i didnt kno wat to do with myself... well all i kno is that i dont like argueing with ppl in general especially ppl that i REALLY care about. i threw my cell and house fone at bryans head. SORRY BOUT THAT!!! i think i scared him bc he had never seen me mad in 3 yrs. OOPS!!. well i think ima go ppl r still over and i have stuff to do. hey this is leanna... court's sister...Alex...just talk to court and just say how you feel and ask hows she feels because you really mean alot to her and i kno she loves u more then she has ne one else in a LONG time and as her sister i really think you need to express your feelings more about everything to her. she just needs to kno u care about her! l8er Current Mood: i need..... ;-) Current Music: Natalie- Going Crazy

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February 18th, 2005

04:50 pm everyone is on their way here.. LEANNA is already here.. and now we r just waiting for the rest of the ppl to get here so we can CHILL. hehe. ima have fun. the only thing missing my my wonderful boifren. O hey this is hur sis and MIKE IS SOOO HOTT!!! Current Mood: bitchy

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February 17th, 2005

01:54 pm in school... im bored. at home i dont have aim o ne thing on my comp cuz it went all crazy on me. so i cant realli do much on m comp. i cant even run my music. which isnt cool at all. ima try to fix it once im home. i get to go home and clean so that tomorrow mornin im off to go get leanna... YAY!! she will b here all weekend with me. i love her. hehe. well today for the first time in yrs me and kev ((her ex)) had a conversation... for like 45 min. well i g2g. schools getting ready to get out. Current Mood: good

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February 16th, 2005

07:29 am wow.. im sitting in school earlier then i have ever been here and its driving me nuts.. im NEVER here this early on my own free will. =). well i think that ima b really bored today cuz i have subs all day and we never do shyt the onli time that im GOING to do anything is in weiht training ... my favorita clase all bc i get to work out and get a grade for it so it puts all that sweating and pain into some prospective. hehe. well i forgot to call leanna last night i fell asleep I SORRY. ill call u during my lunch today. well i have to get to class... Current Mood: sleepy

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February 15th, 2005

10:13 pm hey. ive just been feeling realli moody lately and like all the little things that never got to me are beginning to get to me and its realli startin to piss me off.. i think ive bitten everyones head off that i kno and i dont even do it on purpose. well all i kno is that leanna is gonna come down and i kno that everything will change =). i think her being around me will realli help me out ALOT cuz i just need to relax and clear my head and for some reason as nuts as we r and as wild as we r she is the onli one that knows how to just get to me and make me chill and relax... i dont think anyone will ever b able to do that in my life... shes just got that gift and i love her for it =). i love my little one. lol. well i dont kno but i cant wait to get ungrounded wen she comes home. today i got my first breath of freedom since ive been grounded for the past month.. i went out with mike for about 45 min. it was so great to get out of the house. NO I AM NOT DATING MIKE... I DONT WANT MIKE I HAVE ALEX!!! FOR ALL OF U WHO THINK I SHOULD B WITH MIKE KISS MY ASS WE R JUST FRIENDS I REPEAT JUST FRIENDS!!!!!!!! plus to top it off i love alex =\. oki anyway ive got to go to bed.. i havent been getting up in the morning. =(. Current Mood: cranky

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February 11th, 2005

02:28 pm - in school.... well im bored again so i think i will actually say something of importance... The sands of time are slipping to the bottom of the glass. For it’s said in life there comes a time when all good things must pass. And in the end two friends must go their separate ways. Each taking a part of the other that can never be replaced. And left behind are memories of all things you’ve done. In victory and defeat, it always seemed you won. But now you must be parting, for the road begins to fork. One pathway bears your partner’s name; the other your mark. My advice is treat it carefully and never walk to fast. Face the future, live the present, and accept the days that passed. And don’t be sad or weary for you still may be meant to win. Cause further down the highway of life forked roads often meet once again. ...well i was just thinking about past friendships that just suddenly have been coming back SLOWLY but are coming back. i missed them SOOOO much. it was realli hard beginning to adjust to life without them and then all of a sudden they were BACK!!!!!!!!! oh well. well tonight i have to work from like 630 til 1100... then tomorrow i have to work from like 630 til 1100 or 1200. then sunday i dont kno i just got church from 1030 til 1200. then VALENTINES DAY hey i actualli have one for the first time im not alone.. it feels weird. but i dont kno if ima c him =(... well thats all up to him. well im leaving school now. ill write later. Current Mood: worried

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February 9th, 2005

05:37 pm hola everyone... im sooo tired today. so i really aint going to say much of anything that has importance so yea. well today was boring i had to work out and it is starting to show ahhh the toning of the body is fun and all but the whole working out part is so not cool but i like the results...=). we had such a fun time picking on coach today. theres 28 guys in the class and 5 grls so we call decided we r gonna start bringing our bathing suits to school and everything so we can get a tan along with working our asses off and beating up guys... then coach said he was gonna do the same thing he did today make us grls run then have the bois follow... it was hilarious it was like a bunch of lost puppies... poor guys... they can have all the other grls cuz im the onli one with a boifren... they hate it but i love it =). anyways... ohh coach was being a bitch today and split us grls up during circut training.. he put us all with a guy so we wouldnt talk.. that ASSHOLE. he put me with some guy that dont speak much english which means i have to speak spanish... lol im bitching about speaking my first lang. thats funni. well i think ima go i want food and i have to jump in the shower AGAIN!!! well ttyl. Current Mood: bitchy

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February 8th, 2005

03:48 pm well time feels like its going by really slowly. i think thats just because for the first time ive actually just sat back and did what i was supposed to do and not get all lazy and everything. plus like for the past couple of days ive just been sitting back and relaxing and just thinking about anything and everything. like between thinking about things with alex to not knowing what to do while im grounded... then like it even has to do with thinking about the people that have been supporting more and more the past couple days like leanna and paul... pauls been talking to me and just letting me complain and whine and get everything off my chest, i sometimes really think thats the only thing that keeps me from turning into the BITCH i know that i really am. to me the one thing that bothers me the most is when people tell me that they are going to do something and then they dont end up doing anything remotely near what they said. its like you get all happy that something you really want to happen is gonna happen then just it doesnt. i mean they can say they are sorry and everything but all you want is to be like THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT???... then they tell you they will make it up to you... id like to see that happen. it would be really cute and really nice and everything but still... you wouldnt have to make anything up if you didnt do it in the first place. well after this weekend and what happened i am no longer breaking plans with other people. i learned that you should just go and do whatever youve planned to do in the first place because you never know when people are gonna say they are gonna do something ((like come and see you...)) and then they just decide nope. ((that is such a... i dont know... i guess one of those buttons with me that if you press it DAMN.. dont go lying to me and say one thing then do another. omg. ahhhh. it just pisses me off to no end.)) so yea this weekend i have to work friday night from like 7-11 then i have to work sat night from 6 or 7 til 11 again. normally i would want to see alex because right now thats ALL i want to do but for some reason it just dont work out like that. so i guess if he actually wants to see me this upcoming weekend he'll make an effort to do so... cuz i really dont want to feel like i did saturday... i felt like i didnt matter at all to him. it made me feel so bad. =(. i didnt like it because i really do love him to death and i know that he has everything that he wants to do but y couldnt he just take a little time for me???? i mean i understand im grounded and everythng right now but i cant change that right now so i cant see him unless he comes here. i guess we'll just find out how much he really wants to see me while im grounded... the worst part is i just dont know how to explain anything to him. i mean i dont want nothing bad to happen between us but i dont know how to tell him when he does things that pisses me off. then because i dont want to get him mad at me i dont tell him im mad and then i just hide it. i think i just need to tell him but its hard.... i dont want to lose him AT ALL. it just feels like im going to or that he just dont care because i mean if i could put forth the effort to go out there and see him i would but then he didnt the chance he got... that made me feel like i didnt matter and what he was doing was more important. well whatever. i aint complaining. i reall love him. i just wish.... i love this im grounded but i dont get anything taken for me or whatever i just have to stay by my place... i could prob have a party or something and they wouldnt care as long as its here... AHHHHH. i need leanna. she'll help me out of this. shes the only person i know that would come here and just be with me. thats pretty bad. I WANT MY LEANNA BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok well i think i bitched enough for the day. ill write nice things later i guess. Current Mood: feel high... just outta it tho Current Music: i miss you- blink 182

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February 1st, 2005

01:50 pm wow i abso-fucking-lutly hate being sick. yesterday i couldnt go to school and today i couldnt even make it outta bed to go too. im tired of having this stomach flu and the migraines that cause it. and on top off that my sister ((VIVI)) gave me something i have to go n do. which isnt making me happy at all. ahhhh. all ive been doing for the past two days is sleeping because thats all i can do. i cant move around alot or sit up for a long time bc then i get light headed. on top of that i am soooooo fucking hungry and i cant eat bc it just right back up!!!!! damnit. well this week is startin off to a crappy start and then to top it off i heard wat happened to amanda and its bothering me bc if her mom comes n says shyt to me im gonna b sooooo pissed off. but i feel bad for her she got her fones takin away and she might not b able to go to the bahamas... thats realli gotta suck for her bc she was lookin forward to it. well ima go and lay down AGAIN!!! and wait to c if i can find something to do. i dont even want to watch tv o ne thing i just want to curl up into a ball n sleep... but u can onli get so much sleep in a day!!! Current Mood: sick STILL!!!!

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January 31st, 2005

07:48 pm - GOOD WEEKEND ohh this weekend... the best part was... I HAD SEX WITH ALEX!! not once not twice but..... ohh the joy in that.. but the worst part is that it leaves u wanting more O:-)... Current Mood: O:-).. ima good grl i SWEAR!!!

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07:33 pm today i had to stay home bc i was soooo sick. i hate being sick with a passion.. but wat can i do. nothing. this weekend was alot of funn. well i really dont feel good and i aint gonna go out and say much of the details bc i want to go back to bed. so yea. ill say more later. Current Mood: home sick... not funn

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January 25th, 2005

10:39 pm - in school... im bored out of my mind.. last night i went to bed early and i got way to much sleep. i just got out of weight training and now im jus relaxin til class starts at 130.. o so. well the one thing that bothered me yesterday is that alex didnt call me back... he has yet to do so as well... well watever i hope he calls soon. =\. well i got classes. ill write later. Current Mood: ITS COLD Current Music: nada

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January 24th, 2005

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January 22nd, 2005

07:46 pm heyyy wow this weekend was interesting.. im supposed to go on over to amandas but im not going to right at this moment.. and last night and most of today was the best.. (( amanda would onli kno y ;-) )) hehe. well then today i had to go up to the attic and everything to put stuff away. then i cleaned n ate. after i went to amandas where i hung out and everything.. im soooooo happy. no one will ever know why except for panda.... sooo its all good. well i cant even think straight at the moment so i think that i should go now b4 i say something that i shouldnt o some shyt like that. bye bye. Current Mood: ... wat i want... hehe... O:-)

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